Better Uses for the Time You’re Wasting on Porn

Elsewhere on this site, you’ll find the porn use calculator and an article that walks you through the implications of your results.

The point of focussing on these things is to get your attention and give you even more motivation to act on your goal of quitting porn.

But perhaps what will hit home most for you is not just how much time you’re wasting on porn, but what that time can be spent on instead.

Aside from all the specific consequences of your porn use, there’s so much awesome stuff that you miss out on when that’s where you spend (waste) your time.

Using Porn = Zero Fulfilment

Whenever you use porn:

  • you don’t become a better person,
  • you don’t connect with real people,
  • you don’t feel great afterward,
  • you don’t contribute anything to the world,
  • you don’t enhance your self image,
  • you don’t conquer any fears or break through any barriers,
  • you don’t solve any problems,
  • you don’t make any progress in life,
  • you don’t create any happy memories, and
  • you don’t create a better future for yourself.

Aside from the artificial jolt of pleasure you get in the moment, there are no upsides to porn use – either short or long term.

It has absolutely no redeeming value.

“But!” . . . “But!” . . . “But!”

Maybe you’re asking things like “but what about stress relief?” Or “what about education?”

Don’t delude yourself here.

For anyone who knows how damaging porn is and wants to quit, using it only leaves them more stressed afterward.

And if you use porn as education, you’re probably going to be way worse in bed as a result, not better. Your partner will be totally unfulfilled too!

In any case, there are far better ways to relieve your stress and educate yourself about sex and pleasuring others than using porn.

And that’s what this article is all about . . .

22 Better Uses for the Time You’re Wasting on Porn

Here is a list of 22 things that you could do with different amounts of time, all of which are far more valuable and fulfilling than using porn:

In . . .You could . . .
A few secondsSmile genuinely at a stranger and feel the warmth as they smile genuinely back at you
1 minuteLook someone in the eyes and tell them how much you love them, then give them a big hug (nawww! :)
5 minutesGive a pet a huge tummy rub that leaves you both feeling awesome (not recommended with piranhas or honey badgers)
10 minutesWrite someone a card to thank them for everything they've done for you and tell them how much you appreciate them
20 minutesExperience a beautiful sunset that leaves you feeling relaxed, focussed and connected with nature
30 minutesCall and reconnect with an old friend you haven't spoken with in a long time (it's only weird if you make it weird)
1 hourEnjoy a massage or other spa treatment that makes you feel on top of the world
2 hoursEnjoy a long, slow session of mind-blowing sex with someone you really care about
3 hoursGo to a meetup where you can connect and make friendships with new awesome people
4 hoursVolunteer for an afternoon and experience the joy of contributing and change other peoples' lives
5 hoursSpend a night out with your friends sharing laughs and fun times and doing crazy stuff
8 hoursSpend a whole day at a theme park or getting in some other exciting adventure and having a total blast
16 hoursRead, watch or listen to some awesome personal development materials and learn enough to kick your life up a level
2 daysTake a relaxing weekend away from it all and come back feeling refreshed and full of life again
1 working weekEarn as much money as you do in a week, and get excited about all the cool stuff you can buy with it
2 working weeksGo on a holiday and forget about all your problems in the real world for a while
90 hoursSpend an hour every day for 3 solid months taking actions that will free you from porn forever
100 hoursBecome proficient in meditating and enjoy being able to create calm and balance whenever you need to
150 hoursExercise enough to make some insane progress in losing weight or building your fitness and strength
200 hoursGo from zero skill in something (like dancing, playing drums, juggling knives) to impressing the shit out of your friends
365 hoursGet an extra hour of sleep every night for an entire year and feel way better every single day as a result
750 hoursLearn, study and network enough to absolutely dominate an entire semester at university

Of course, these are just examples. No doubt there are plenty of other things that you could spend your time on that would resonate more strongly with you personally.

The important thing is that they all make you feel great, they have lasting value, and they create real memories instead of nasty porn flashbacks that keep haunting you afterwards.

Time for Action

I don’t want you to just think about this stuff. I want you to use it.

First, make a big list of ways to spend your time that are much more valuable and fulfilling than using porn. Feel free to steal anything from the above list, it’s cool ;)

Then, any time you’re tempted to use porn, choose something from your list and start investing your time into that instead.

When you’re on your deathbed and your life is flashing before your eyes, you’ll be glad you did.


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From the Fans
"Jay,

Thank you for creating your website and your resources. I have known for quite some time that I was missing something in my approach to quitting porn; I knew that will-power wasn't cutting it and that something in my thinking and outlook on life had to change, but I just didn't know how to get there.

I'm only a few articles into the series, yet I can tell there is something different about this time, because I realize that it's not merely about resisting my urges, but really changing the way I think about myself, my past, and my future. Makes complete sense.

I really like how you designed your resources as a series to be periodically delivered via email. It gives me something to look forward to and is helping me take this on---one day at a time. Thank you, man.

Porn has taken me to some dark and shame-filled places. I was afraid that I would never be able to stop the repetitive and damaging cycle. Your writing has helped me to feel hope again, and for that I am overwhelmingly thankful. You are really helping me, Jay, and I hope your approach to fighting this addiction is helping countless others as well.

Thank you, thank you, thank you:)"
James--Oregon, USA


"Hi Jay,

Thx. for all your help,and please continue to forward your emails and materials to me.

I have found that 'Inner Anchor','Inner Source of Power' that you indicated would be essential to victory over porn.This has given me a porn-free identity,giving NO PLACE to porn in my life at all.I am continually aware that I may NEVER become complacent.

I thought I want to let you know,but have waited a considerable time so as to absolutely, resolutely sure that porn is totally out of my life and this email confirms it for me!!!"
CL, UK


"Dear Jay

Thank you for your loving, supportive and non judgmental guidance through this hard time. Your regular exercises are a great help in breaking the bonds of this addiction and your weekly check ups are a reminder that I'm not alone in this battle.

After almost 20 years of fighting this addiction on my own, you have given me the tools to break it's chains. I was so close to losing my wife and family but now we are closer than we had ever hoped to be.

All that ugly guilt and shame has been washed away and in its place a sense of humility, forgiveness and lots of love.

I pray for God's continued strength for you as you continue in your mission.

Thank you"
Anthony
South Africa


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You have no idea how much power you possess until you meet Jay and the amazing support he offers, its life changing. Thanks so much Jay and PFP!"
A.M., New Zealand


"This has been one of the hardest things I've ever tried to overcome. Me and my wife have been working on our issues, she has forgiven me but I know she has a hard time trusting me. I have not looked at porn in several weeks, i'm proud of myself and would like to thank you for your advice it's helped alot."
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