Here’s the good news: most internal problems (as opposed to external problems such as relationship or career issues) caused by heavy porn use aren’t permanent.
You can overcome most (if not all) porn-induced problems you’re experiencing by quitting porn and going through the recovery process.
Woot woot!
Now, once your recovery symptoms are completely over, it will be easy to know when most of those porn-induced problems have gone away.
For example, you’ll see and feel the improvement in common problem areas like your emotions, self image, motivation, mental clarity, productivity and general fulfilment in life.
But what about sexual problems caused by heavy porn use or porn withdrawal, such as erectile dysfunction, delayed ejaculation, low libido and reduced sexual enjoyment with real partners?
If you’re playing a solid recovery game, you’ve been avoiding porn, masturbation and orgasms in all forms, including with real partners.
So, if you’re not masturbating or having sex, how will you know when your sexual performance is back on point?
The answer: by testing.
Testing Your Sexual Performance Recovery
To know for sure whether you’ve recovered from porn-induced sexual problems, you’ll eventually need to take your brain and genitals for a test drive down Stimulation Road.
This means masturbating or having partner sex to check whether any performance issues you used to have are still there or not.
Here are some tips on testing your recovery constructively:
1. Don’t Test Too Early
If you’re still recovering from porn induced sexual issues, masturbating or having sex to orgasm will most likely slow your recovery down.
Hence, testing too early will be counterproductive and can set your progress back. It’s just like pulling up a plant to see how the roots are growing.
So don’t test until:
- A suitable amount of time has passed (see below); and
- You feel sure that your recovery is over and that the test will actually show the results you want.
As a guideline, most people take at least 3 – 6 months to recover from porn-induced sexual problems.
For younger guys and super heavy porn users, it might be even longer (maybe up to a year, and in extreme cases, some people have reported it taking two years).
So don’t rush things – hold off on testing until you’ve seen plenty of other positive signs of recovery.
Be honest and don’t kid yourself here.
Once you’ve been porn free for a suitable timeframe and you’re confident you’ve recovered, the purpose of testing is to confirm that your sexual performance problems have gone away.
It shouldn’t simply be an excuse to justify masturbation or orgasm during recovery just because you’re feeling horny. Down boy! Bad dog!
2. Go For Real Partner Sex if Possible
What could give a better indication of your sexual performance than real sex with a real partner?
For most people with porn-induced sexual problems, the aim of recovering is to enjoy partner sex again (or for the first time), not to get back into jerking off whenever they’re bored.
So if that’s your aim, the truest test will be real sex.
It’s like checking your driving skills behind the wheel of an actual racing car, rather than sitting at home by yourself playing Need for Speed on your PS4.
Testing with partner sex will also avoid a few other potential problems that can arise when testing with masturbation (including the possibility of escalating to porn use and using a death grip that can contribute to delayed ejaculation).
Of course, if partner sex isn’t an option for you, it’s still possible to get some good answers with masturbation.
Just be sure to keep your grip pressure moderate and always follow Tip 3 . . .
3. Don’t Ever Use Porn to Test Your Sexual Performance
No matter how you test, one thing you never want to do under any circumstances is use porn when testing yourself.
This includes any porn visualisation, memories or fantasies as well.
In case you didn’t get the memo: if you’re recovering from porn addiction or any porn induced problems, your aim should be to stay away from porn forever.
Even using porn just once after abstaining for months can trigger a bunch of damaging consequences that set you back (you can trust me on that personally).
If you need any kind of porn (including visualisation) to help you get aroused, masturbate, have sex or climax, you already have the test results you need – you haven’t recovered fully yet.
It’s time to stop the test and get back on the no-PMO wagon for a while.
If you have recovered fully, you should be able to masturbate or have sex with just the normal physical and emotional feelings you experience while being fully present.
4. Don’t Force Things if the Test Doesn’t Go Well
Let’s say you’re testing yourself without porn and you get aroused and start having sex or masturbating with no problems . . . but then you start having trouble staying aroused or reaching an orgasm.
The natural human temptation, especially in the heat of the moment, is to do whatever you can to see things through to the end. That may include things like:
- Visualising porn scenes momentarily to boost your arousal and get you back on track; and/or
- Masturbating or fucking far more furiously than usual so the physical sensation compensates for your lack of internal arousal.
These things are counterproductive dead ends. You might give yourself a short-term win, but you’ll also delay your long-term recovery.
In any case, it’s also not very rewarding or enjoyable when you do these things just to struggle across the line.
Plus, you’ve basically just cheated on your test, and any positive results you see will be false. Report to the Principal’s office immediately for an ass paddling.
Once you’ve fully recovered, sex (and masturbation) should be possible normally and naturally, without forcing things or resorting to artificial arousal.
So, if you have to fight to get yourself across the line, you haven’t recovered yet.
As hard as it is to do, you need to just accept this reality, call it quits and ease yourself gracefully out of the action for now.
Even better, avoid this situation in the first place by following Tip 1 above.
5. Wait a Solid Amount of Time Before Any Re-Testing
Let’s say the test doesn’t go well and you still have some sexual performance issues.
Rather than jumping straight into another test ASAP to redeem yourself, just be patient and wait.
Remember, the purpose of testing is to confirm your belief that you’ve recovered. It’s not to prove yourself to anybody.
If your previous test didn’t go well, chances are that another one soon after won’t either (unless you force things as discussed above).
So pour yourself a refreshing orange juice, chill out and just let your body work its magic for a while before you take your sexual performance for another spin.
Patience you must have, my young Padawan.
What About Testing Your Resistance to Porn Exposure?
Tests aren’t limited to checking sexual performance recovery.
What about testing to see if you can be exposed to porn without feeling tempted or slipping into a full blown relapse?
Here’s my stern advice on exposing yourself to porn deliberately:
DON’T EVER DO IT
DON’T EVER DO IT
DON’T EVER DO IT
DON’T EVER DO IT
DON’T EVER DO IT
DON’T EVER DO IT
DON’T EVER DO IT
DON’T EVER DO IT
DON’T EVER DO IT
DON’T EVER DO IT
Staying away from porn applies to all situations, forever.
Deliberately exposing yourself to porn to see if you can resist it is just like a former heroin addict shooting up to see if they still have a drug problem.
Or like smashing your head as hard as possible into a concrete wall to see if you can resist brain damage.
It makes no sense and can jeorpardise your success without any benefit whatsoever.
Think about it: what if you fail the test?
What if you end up in a massive relapse binge?
What if you take a huge emotional hit?
What if that’s the last straw that causes your partner to completely lose trust and leave you?
Do you really want to create the potential for these things on purpose?
Even if you don’t fail the test, you’ll still reinforce the very brain pathways towards porn use that you want to weaken, so it’s a setback regardless.
And if you pass the test, what have you really achieved? Your overall aim should be to stay away from porn, and if you achieve that aim, the test is irrelevant.
If you do have accidental exposure to porn at some point in future (which can definitely happen), then that will be your test.
But wait until then to find out.
Summary
To summarise, it breaks down like this:
- You give up PMO during recovery.
- To confirm your recovery, you can test with the M and the O again.
- Once you have fully recovered, you can bring back the M and the O again for good if you like.
But you never, ever go back to the P.
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