How to Test Your Porn Addiction Recovery (and How Not to)

Here’s the good news: the problems caused by heavy porn use aren’t permanent. You can overcome most (if not all) of them by quitting porn and going through the recovery process.

Woot woot!

Now, once your recovery symptoms (AKA signs of awesomeness ;) are over, it will be easy to know when most of those porn-induced problems have gone away.

For example, you’ll see and feel the improvement in common problem areas like your emotional state, self image, relationships, motivation, mental clarity, productivity and general fulfilment in life.

But what about sexual problems caused by heavy porn use or porn withdrawal, such as erectile dysfunction, delayed ejaculation, low libido and reduced sexual enjoyment with real partners?

If you’re playing a solid recovery game, you’ve been avoiding porn, masturbation and orgasms in all forms, including with real partners. So, if you’re not masturbating or having sex, how will you know when your sexual performance is back on point?

The answer: by testing.

Testing Your Sexual Performance Recovery

To know for sure whether you’ve recovered from porn-induced sexual problems, you’ll eventually need to take your brain and genitals for a test drive down Stimulation Road.

This means masturbating or having partner sex to check whether any performance issues you used to have are still there or not.

Here are some tips on testing your recovery constructively:

1. Don’t Test Too Early

By its nature, masturbating or having sex is the opposite of what you should be doing during recovery.

Hence, testing too early will be counterproductive and can set your recovery back. It’s just like pulling up a plant to see how the roots are growing.

So don’t test until:

  1. A suitable amount of time has passed; and
  2. You feel sure that your recovery is over and that the test will show the results you want.

As a guideline, most people take at least 3 – 6 months to recover from porn-induced sexual problems (for me personally, it was a bit over 6 months).

For younger guys and super heavy porn users, it might be even longer (maybe up to a year, and in extreme cases, some people have reported it taking two years).

So don’t rush things – hold off on testing until you’ve seen plenty of other positive signs of recovery. Be honest and don’t kid yourself here.

Once you’ve avoided porn for a suitable timeframe and you’re confident you’ve recovered, the purpose of testing is to confirm that your sexual performance problems have gone away.

It should never simply be an excuse to justify masturbation or sex just because you’re feeling horny. Down boy! Bad dog!

2. Go For Real Partner Sex if Possible

What could give a better indication of your sexual performance than real sex with a real partner?

For most people with porn-induced sexual problems, the aim of recovering is to enjoy partner sex again (or for the first time), not to get back into jerking off whenever they’re bored.

So if that’s your aim, the truest test will be real sex. It’s like checking your driving skills behind the wheel of an actual racing car, rather than sitting at home by yourself playing Need for Speed on your PS4.

Testing with partner sex will also avoid a few other potential problems that can arise when testing with masturbation (including the possibility of escalating to porn use and using a death grip that can contribute to delayed ejaculation).

Of course, if partner sex isn’t an option for you, it’s still possible to get some good answers with masturbation. Just be sure to keep your grip pressure moderate and always follow Tip 3 . . .

3. Don’t Ever Use Porn to Test Your Sexual Performance

No matter how you test, one thing you never want to do under any circumstances is use porn when testing yourself. This includes any porn visualisation, memories or fantasies as well.

In case you didn’t get the memo: if you’re recovering from porn addiction or any problems caused by heavy porn use, your aim should be to stay away from porn forever.

Even using porn just once after abstaining for months can trigger a bunch of damaging consequences that set you back (you can trust me on that personally).

If you need any kind of porn (including visualisation) to help you get aroused, masturbate, have sex or climax, you already have the test results you need – you haven’t recovered fully yet.

It’s time to stop the test and get back on the no-PMO wagon for a while.

If you have recovered fully, you should be able to masturbate or have partner sex with just the normal physical and emotional feelings you experience while being fully present.

4. Don’t Force Things if the Test Doesn’t Go Well

Let’s say you’re testing yourself without porn and you get aroused and start having sex or masturbating with no problems . . . but then you start having trouble staying aroused or reaching an orgasm.

(This happened to me a few times back when I was recovering, because I didn’t understand the recovery process properly and rushed back into having sex before I was completely ready).

The natural human temptation, especially in the heat of the moment, is to do whatever you can to see things through to the end. That may include things like:

  • Visualising porn scenes momentarily to boost your arousal and get you back on track; and/or
  • Masturbating or fucking far more furiously than usual so the physical sensation compensates for your lack of internal arousal.

I was guilty of doing these things in this situation (insert sound of slapping self on wrist here), and trust me: they’re counterproductive dead ends.

You might give yourself a short-term win, but you’ll also delay your long-term recovery. It’s also not very rewarding or fun in any case.

Plus, you’ve basically just cheated on your test, and any positive results you see will be false. Report to the Principal’s office immediately for an ass paddling.

Once you’ve fully recovered, sex (and masturbation) should be possible normally and naturally, without forcing things or resorting to artificial arousal.

So, if you have to fight to get yourself across the line, you haven’t recovered yet. As hard as it is to do, you need to just accept it and ease yourself gracefully out of the action for now.

Even better, avoid this situation in the first place by following Tip 1 above.

5. Wait a Solid Amount of Time Before Any Re-Testing

Let’s say the test doesn’t go well and you still have some sexual performance issues. Rather than jumping straight into another test ASAP to redeem yourself, just be patient and wait.

Remember, the purpose of testing is to confirm your belief that you’ve recovered. It’s not to prove yourself to anybody.

If your previous test didn’t go well, chances are that another one soon after won’t either (unless you force things as discussed above).

So pour yourself a refreshing orange juice, chill out and just let your body work its magic for a while before you take your sexual performance for another spin. Patience you must have, my young Padawan.

What About Testing Your Resistance to Porn Exposure?

Tests aren’t limited to checking sexual performance recovery. What about testing to see if you can be exposed to porn without feeling tempted or slipping into a full blown relapse?

Here’s my stern advice on exposing yourself to porn on purpose:

DON’T EVER DO IT
DON’T EVER DO IT
DON’T EVER DO IT
DON’T EVER DO IT
DON’T EVER DO IT
DON’T EVER DO IT
DON’T EVER DO IT
DON’T EVER DO IT
DON’T EVER DO IT
DON’T EVER DO IT

Staying away from porn applies to all situations, forever.

Deliberately exposing yourself to porn to see if you can resist it is just like a former heroin addict shooting up to see if they still have a drug problem.

Or like smashing your head as hard as possible into a concrete wall to see if you can resist brain damage.

It makes no sense and can jeorpardise your success without any benefit whatsoever.

Think about it: what if you fail the test? What if you end up in a massive relapse binge? What if you take a huge emotional hit? What if that’s the last straw that causes your partner to completely lose trust and leave you?

Do you really want to create the potential for these things on purpose?

Even if you don’t fail the test, you’ll still reinforce the very brain pathways towards porn use that you want to weaken, so it’s a setback regardless.

And if you pass the test, what have you really achieved? Your overall aim should be to stay away from porn, and if you achieve that aim, the test is irrelevant.

If you do have accidental exposure to porn at some point in future (which can definitely happen), then that will be your test. But wait until then to find out.

Summary

To summarise, it breaks down like this:

  • You give up PMO during recovery.
  • To confirm your recovery, you can test with the M and the O again.
  • Once you have fully recovered, you can bring back the M and the O again for good if you like.

But you never, ever go back to the P.


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"I used to think that porn was something I couldn't get over, but I was wrong. Once I started using Porn Free Power, I found it easy to jump start my recovery process. Each of Jay's resources is filled with effective steps that helped me break the addictive cycle.

Additionally, his online calls are extremely helpful because they are tailored to my needs. Finally, he has an effective accountability system set up which has helped me get to core of why I used porn in the first place. His accountability system has enabled me to become more transparent with myself and others about my porn use and has motivated me to continue my recovery journey.

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A.M., New Zealand


"Hi Jay,

For a while I have been looking for material that I can use to develop a program that I can use in a group to help men overcome pornography addiction. Browsing the internet, I was looking for something real and authentic and practical.

So I stumbled onto Porn Free Power. And I really liked what I discovered. I like your approach, i like the practical way you tackle this. So I started my first group in September this year with 3 men.

PFP is a very practical tool. We use your resources as a group discussion or action (I am very strong on the emphasis that it is an action group, not just a support group) and as homework.

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Once again, thank you so much for your regular e-mails of encouragement. And on behalf of my group, thank you for allowing us to use your resources."
WW, Port Elizabeth, SA


"Man Im gonna share with you something Ive never told anyone. Ive been waiting for it and todays audio came at a perfect time!

My story is much like yours. And at 31 I became a father. If you have kids you know, if not I will tell you: The moment a newborn enters the room, it is instantly filled with the most extreme love you can imagine! When we had our daughter and I got to hold her, I had the most powerful love-explosion I ever could imagine!

My heart was connecting to my newborn and I was at the deepest level her father, for life. The love was pure. true and so honest!

At that time my brain had it, could not take it! It could not handle it! It had been porn-wired for a long time and thats the anti-love. At first it keep saying fuck fuck, hell hell and stuff like that. Very disturbing to a first time father! I felt only love but my brain something else.

Later on it became even more disgusting, to a level that was hurting me very bad and I was haunted with the most disgusting words whenever I held my child. It took about a year or so to clean out, flush my dirty mind clean(er) I was so ashamed!

2 years later we had another child. I was nervous as hell for that experience to return. It didn't and we had a little boy. I was so relieved! It happened just after me starting to get your mails. So thats my story, and I promise my family to stay clean!

I really appreciate you trying to help your fellow brothers. Mostly brothers I suppose..:) I can't wait to hear from you again, your mails are always appreciate and longed for! Thank you for all that you do man, you save lives!"
Rob, Sweden


Here is an additional follow-up from Rob later:

"Well, I never thought I could stop in six months. Here I am with no big setback! The transformation has been rough at times. My mind is so badly wired from porn. You know theres absolutely no humanity in porn ! Ive gotten married and got a second child since your first mail so the rewards are huge! I still long for the quick fix when im tired or stressed, but my 2yr ord told me I was the worlds strongest yesterday. And thats what I need to be! For My family! Your work is great! Keep it up man! And thank you!"
Rob, Sweden


"Hey man porn free power helped me to realise that porn addiction start with you. Before you start saying you quit it should be for real, I said many times that I need to quit but I failed but after meeting jay I was able to know a way out. Jay always spend time giving us advice and also supporting us. I am proud to say I can see the light and I have quit porn."
Mathew S


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I have to say I have found the resources excellent so far. It takes constant reminders and fresh motivation to stay away from porn and prevent little relapses from happening, the emails we receive from you every few days do just that, helps to kind of freshen up our minds and keep us focused with new tips and strategies, now matter how big or small they are.

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Thanks"
Stephen


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I was desperate when I started this, now every day I feel stronger and in control.
THANK YOU Jay"
TP, Cape Town


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Thx for all your help. I have found that 'Inner Anchor','Inner Source of Power' that you indicated would be essential to victory over porn.This has given me a porn-free identity,giving NO PLACE to porn in my life at all.I am continually aware that I may NEVER become complacent.

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CL, UK


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