Watch Your Mouth

I get email from people who are addicted to porn almost every day. And amongst all my conversations with them over the years, this pattern comes up a lot:

People who aren’t succeeding with quitting porn often use unconstructive language to describe their journey

Let me give you a few real life examples:

  • “I’m hoping that I can succeed with quitting porn”
  • “I’ll try to get back on track”
  • “I might be able to stop using porn”
  • “I think it will help me”
  • “It’s going to be tough to give up porn”
  • “I want to be free of porn one day”

Most people have no idea that statements like these are hurting their efforts at quitting porn.

What’s so bad about those statements?

The way you describe a situation reflects your feelings, thoughts, views, attitudes and beliefs about that situation.

So if you use statements like the above examples, here are some things that are probably true for you in relation to overcoming porn addiction:

  • You feel uncertain, weak, powerless and not in control of the situation.
  • You have very little confidence and don’t truly believe you can succeed.
  • You haven’t fully committed to doing whatever it takes to quit porn, no matter what.

It goes without saying that these things are all major obstacles to your success.

A neat trick

I’m sure it’s pretty obvious that the way you see and feel about something will affect what you say about it.

But the less obvious thing is that this works in both directions, so the reverse is true as well:

Not only do your views and feelings shape the words you use, but the words you use also shape your views and feelings

So changing either one also changes the other as well – it’s a two way street!

This means that you can shift your feelings, views and beliefs about quitting porn (or anything else) simply by using different words to describe it.

This is something I learned from Tony Robbins, and although it might seem weird, it definitely works and the impact can be huge.

Time for a demonstration

To see this in effect for yourself, read the example statements in the left column of the table below out loud, emphasising the words in italics.

After you read each one, read the alternative statement next to it in the right column, also emphasising the italicised words.

Weak StatementPowerful Statement
"I'm hoping that I can succeed with quitting porn""I'm absolutely sure that I can succeed with quitting porn"
"I'll try to get back on track""I'm going to get back on track no matter what"
"I might be able to stop using porn""I will definitely be able to stop using porn for good"
"I think it will help me""I know it will help me"
"It's going to be tough to give up porn""It's going to be easy and fun and exciting to give up porn"
"I want to be free of porn one day""I'm going to be free of porn right now"
Can you feel the difference?

When you voice the statements in the left column, how do they make you feel?

Strong or weak?

Confident or unsure?

Committed or apathetic?

Purposeful or aimless?

And how do you rate your chances of success with quitting porn when you feel like that?

In contrast, when you voice the statements in the right column, how differently do you see and feel about that same situation?

Notice how changing just one or two words immediately changes your perspective and emotions?

This small shift in what you say creates the difference between making yourself a victim versus putting yourself in control.


You can harness the power of this phenomenon straight away.

From now on, whenever you think or talk about your goal of quitting porn (and anything else that you want in life), start using stronger, more definite language.

This applies to both the way you speak out loud as well as your private thoughts and internal dialogue.

Doing so will immediately shift you from a weak and hesitant state to a powerful and purposeful one, which will set you up to give your best every day.

Plus, if you consistently use constructive language, it will positively affect your attitudes and beliefs over time as well.

All of these things will massively increase your ability to succeed with quitting porn.

Don’t forget to walk your talk as well

To enhance the effect further, make sure you’re absolutely committed to doing whatever it takes to overcome porn addiction in the first place.

That way your actions and underlying resolve will make those empowering words true – no need to fake it until you make it!

When you commit totally to quitting porn, then back that up with powerful language, it’s going to feel way different, you’re going to come at it way stronger, and you’re going to get completely different results.

Just do it!

It takes balls to fully commit to your goal and then speak with certainty about making it happen. It doesn’t leave you a lot of excuses if it gets tough and you wimp out.

But that’s one of the keys to succeeding.

Don’t make the mistake of dismissing this as just some rah-rah pump up bullshit, because it isn’t.

It’s about stepping up and taking control of your addiction instead of feeling and believing that your addiction is controlling you.

And it’s about creating a new reality for yourself, starting with the way you think, speak and view things.

Plus, there are no downsides – it’s free, easy and fast to do, so you may as well give it everything you’ve got!

Commit and start consciously choosing how you word things, and watch how this changes other things deeper within you that will give you a winning edge.

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    “I used to think that porn was something I couldn’t get over, but I was wrong. Once I started using Porn Free Power, I found it easy to jump start my recovery process. Each of AJ’s resources is filled with effective steps that helped me break the addictive cycle.

    Additionally, his online calls are extremely helpful because they are tailored to my needs. Finally, he has an effective accountability system set up which has helped me get to core of why I used porn in the first place. His accountability system has enabled me to become more transparent with myself and others about my porn use and has motivated me to continue my recovery journey.

    I wouldn’t be here without AJ’s guidance in the process. Thanks for everything you’ve done with PFP!”
    Sam-Oakland, California

    “For me, porn was a web of deceit I was ensnared in. I couldn’t get free. As I’ve started doing the Action Series Porn Free Power offers, the different threads that had attached to my life long ago have begun to fall away. It’s so effective and simple.

    You have no idea how much power you possess until you meet AJ and the amazing support he offers, its life changing. Thanks so much AJ and PFP!”
    A.M., New Zealand

    “Hi AJ,

    For a while I have been looking for material that I can use to overcome pornography addiction. Browsing the internet, I was looking for something real and authentic and practical.

    So I stumbled onto Porn Free Power. And I really liked what I discovered. I like your approach, i like the practical way you tackle this.

    PFP is a very practical tool and your resources have helped me with my journey towards a porn free lifestyle.

    Once again, thank you so much for your regular e-mails of encouragement.”
    WW, Port Elizabeth, SA

    “Man Im gonna share with you something Ive never told anyone. Ive been waiting for it and todays audio came at a perfect time!

    At 31 I became a father. If you have kids you know, if not I will tell you: The moment a newborn enters the room, it is instantly filled with the most extreme love you can imagine! When we had our daughter and I got to hold her, I had the most powerful love-explosion I ever could imagine!

    My heart was connecting to my newborn and I was at the deepest level her father, for life. The love was pure. true and so honest!

    At that time my brain had it, could not take it! It could not handle it! It had been porn-wired for a long time and thats the anti-love. At first it keep saying fuck fuck, hell hell and stuff like that. Very disturbing to a first time father! I felt only love but my brain something else.

    Later on it became even more disgusting, to a level that was hurting me very bad and I was haunted with the most disgusting words whenever I held my child. It took about a year or so to clean out, flush my dirty mind clean(er) I was so ashamed!

    2 years later we had another child. I was nervous as hell for that experience to return. It didn’t and we had a little boy. I was so relieved! It happened just after me starting to get your mails. So thats my story, and I promise my family to stay clean!

    I really appreciate you trying to help your fellow brothers. Mostly brothers I suppose..:) I can’t wait to hear from you again, your mails are always appreciate and longed for! Thank you for all that you do man, you save lives!”
    Rob, Sweden

    Here is an additional follow-up from Rob later:

    “Well, I never thought I could stop in six months. Here I am with no big setback! The transformation has been rough at times. My mind is so badly wired from porn. You know theres absolutely no humanity in porn ! Ive gotten married and got a second child since your first mail so the rewards are huge! I still long for the quick fix when im tired or stressed, but my 2yr ord told me I was the worlds strongest yesterday. And thats what I need to be! For My family! Your work is great! Keep it up man! And thank you!”
    Rob, Sweden

    “Hey man porn free power helped me to realise that porn addiction start with you. Before you start saying you quit it should be for real, I said many times that I need to quit but I failed but after meeting AJ I was able to know a way out. AJ always spend time giving us advice and also supporting us. I am proud to say I can see the light and I have quit porn.”
    Mathew S

    “Hi AJ,

    I have to say I have found the resources excellent so far. It takes constant reminders and fresh motivation to stay away from porn and prevent little relapses from happening, the emails we receive from you every few days do just that, helps to kind of freshen up our minds and keep us focused with new tips and strategies, now matter how big or small they are.

    It’s definitely working for me anyway, the odd little relapse here and there but I’ve pretty much stopped porn altogether.

    Keep up the good work man you must be helping a lot of people.


    “I have not watched porn for almost 2 months now since using the Porn Free Power strategy.This is a huge achievement for me. I have also received unbelievable support from AJ.

    I was desperate when I started this, now every day I feel stronger and in control.

    TP, Cape Town

    “Hi AJ,

    Thx for all your help. I have found that ‘Inner Anchor’,’Inner Source of Power’ that you indicated would be essential to victory over porn. This has given me a porn-free identity, giving NO PLACE to porn in my life at all. I am continually aware that I may NEVER become complacent.

    I thought I want to let you know, but have waited a considerable time so as to absolutely, resolutely sure that porn is totally out of my life and this email confirms it for me!!!”
    CL, UK

    “The e-mails I have been receiving are great. I have been experiencing porn induced ED for years but now I’m full of hope. Day 5 in and AJ has been a real help.”
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